When Legacy meets disfunction

As parents, what are we leaving our children with? Most will think financial security, but many will leave behind a legacy that is far more meaningful. What does this legacy look like? 

For me, as a surviving child among five blood siblings and three adoptive ones, my mother left behind a complicated tapestry of relationships. Unfortunately, my siblings have distanced themselves from me, harboring feelings that I don't deserve any of the love or support that should be inherent in family. Siblings that in the past had no problem with sleeping with sibling spouses and the list goes on.   I can't  apologize for having the love and support of my Paternal grandparents that saved me from the house of horrors (not my story to tell). Over the years, their accusations have stung, often rooted in the belief that I somehow think I'm better than them

My greatest wish is that I raised loving, decent children who support one another, lift each other up, and hold each other accountable when needed. I hope that I instilled in them the understanding that family bonds are sacred, and that spouses should always be treated with respect and loyalty. In love, there should be no room for hatred or animosity. 

I also pray my children realize that the mistakes of previous generations do not have to define them. Anger and hurt can stem from real trauma, but it’s essential to confront these feelings rather than let them fester. Seeking therapy and addressing these wounds is a crucial step towards healing. 

In creating a nurturing environment, I aimed to break the cycle of resentment and disconnection, fostering a family legacy built on love, understanding, and resilience. My hope is that my children will carry this forward, ensuring that the bonds of family are strengthened and that they create a supportive network among themselves, one that transcends any challenges they may face.